It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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