Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
