well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
