I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
