hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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