so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
