I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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