Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
