I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
