just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Green mimosas i think yes
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
