just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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