Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
