I wish I could teleport
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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