She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
