i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Four minutes until I can fart!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
