When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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