i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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