So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
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We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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