haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
