i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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