if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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