Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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