So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
