There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
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Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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