WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
