dude i'm inner monologue high
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
