i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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