She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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