I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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