we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
