i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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