you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
