she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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