she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
