your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
