I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
