I think I am morally bankrupt
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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