Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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