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Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize