I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
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I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
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People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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