sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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