My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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