I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
