@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
