I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I need a beard to bite.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
