i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
