Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
