So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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