i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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