a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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