butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
