3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
