He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
