I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
