First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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