why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
