ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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