Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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