dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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