my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
