Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
