I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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