He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
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i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
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Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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